Love and Hugs, or Affordable Fellers and Happily-Ever-After

I pulled into a parking space at the grocery store this afternoon. In the space in front of me, a pickup truck had backed in; lettered across the tailgate were the words “Affordable Fellers” and a telephone number.

It took me a moment to realize that dialing that number would put me in touch with a timber-cutting business. Since it’s Valentine’s Day and I had already been sniffling over internet love stories, my mind wasn’t on timber, and I almost thought that the tall, bearded “feller” who got out of the pick-up truck might be the beginning of my own happily-ever-after. Although he wasn’t, he evidently is someone’s happily-ever-after because he headed straight for the floral department in the store.

The other day a friend who had read my last entry here asked me about the gift of farm-fresh eggs. In answering the question, I realized that it was a memorable gift for me not only because I really needed the eggs at the time but also because it reflected the giver’s insight into what kind of person I am. I still like to get and give useful gifts; I am committed to not giving gifts that make work for their recipients (plants and knick-knacks, for example).

But that’s a little off the track--although it opens a space for me to add the caveat that, at Valentine’s Day, you can’t go wrong in offering a gift of chocolate, flowers or jewelry. The real point of this blog is all about love, I think; I don’t have any answers for you but I can certainly contribute some questions!
The Writer’s Almanac today features the history of Valentine’s Day and also a brief history of writing about love and to lovers. I signed the few cards that I sent with “love and hugs;” but the recipients, because they know that I love them and I know that they love me, don’t really need the reassurance that I am sending my love with the card and that I would hug them today if I could. And perhaps this leads to the edge of the “love” precipice: what about those folks whom we hold dear but to whom, for whatever reason, we don’t say “I love you?”

On the calendar of the U. S. Marine Corps, today was, evidently, just another day: my father told me on the phone tonight that his only paternal first cousin had called to tell him, among other things, that his 19-year-old grandson left Okinawa today for a tour in Iraq--I suspect that didn’t make for a very happy Valentine’s Day in that family even though they are very proud of him. Personally, my wish for him is that, in a few years, he too will be just another “affordable feller” in a small town buying flowers late in the day for his own happily-ever-after. I’ve only met this young man a couple of times, but tonight, he’s a person to whom I send love and hugs.

Another friend of mine has a child studying in Australia; it happens that this young lady was born on February 14. She is bright and carefree, but she’s no different from other young ladies and recently called home in tears over a young man. Her parent was almost in tears telling me about her call; in thinking about them, I send love and hugs to all three, and to her eventual happily-ever-after, whomever that turns out to be. After all, there are “affordable fellers” everywhere!

And I could share lots more stories, but it’s getting late and I’m sure you get the drift. Happily-ever-afters don’t always begin on February 14, but that’s the day we celebrate them as a nation--and we’re not picky, really, about how long those happily-ever-afters extend on either side of that date; we just all want a sweetheart at least for the day. And, for at least the day, we want the illusion of romance: we want to believe that we are dear to someone, missed when we’re not around, and remembered without having to remind our beloveds to not forget Valentine’s Day!

We don’t forget those we love, even if February 14 slips up on us and we wind up buying a late-in-the-day card or gift to prove our love. And though the gestures we make for Valentine’s Day are sweet and fun, it’s what we do and say between February 15 (2006) and February 13 (2007) that make those we love look forward to the cards, flowers, chocolate and--for the really lucky ones--jewelry that we might deliver on February 14. It is that outpouring of day-to-day love in the form of commitments kept and burdens lifted and unexpected favors done and--for the really lucky ones--hugs given that makes it possible and desirable to set aside a whole day to celebrate happily-ever-after in whatever form it has come to us at the moment. For one day a year, we are all in love with love, and we are ecstatic if we are also in love with a person who loves us back.
About a year ago, I got a refrigerator magnet with a prayer printed on it which has since become a part of my daily litany. It goes like this: “Bless those I love and those who love me. Bless those who love those I love and those who love those who love me.” That’s really what I mean when I send “love and hugs”--that love would surround and cover those I love and those who love me, even if those two groups are made up of very different people. And I hope, for each person in each of those groups, that all those hugs are being delivered in person--if not by an “affordable feller,” perhaps by a sweet young thing or a trusting, hopeful child, or a stranger who simply meets your eye and smiles.

As for the rest of you--well, love and hugs to you, too!